You need friends. You have been very lonely in your life and people have, for one reason or another, stayed away from you. The isolation is killing you inside and all you want is to feel a connection with somebody else. You now have little self-esteem left inside and have dark thoughts about life and relationships. However you still have that crave of friends inside of you, even if you won't admit that to yourself anymore. And even if you do have a friend, you still feel lonely because you have a hard time letting people in since you have been isolated so long.
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